Problems with dating widowers

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Sometimes my new husband says the odd thing that will remind me of Craig or I’ll hear a song on the radio while we are driving in the car that will make me tear up. Everyone knows the person on the furthest side is safe.

Fact is, my new husband is my shoulder to cry on and the one I’ve vented to, talked to, and poured my heart out to through this whole ordeal so the subject of widowhood and my late husband is one we are both comfortable with. I don’t believe it was for a reason or his time to go or any of those things. They are both very different and that’s one of the things I like about each of them. It’s not so much that I prefer the left side or the right side. Oh and, yes, in case you were wondering, my darling husband reads everything I write, corrects my typos, laughs with me, lets me cry on his shoulder, and is the second chapter I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have.

In an effort to save everyone the trouble (not to mention the awkward moments when I bust you peering through my kitchen window at the back of my house), I’ve decided to put it all out there for everyone to see. I do know, however, that the gossips will gossip and that while I am a grown woman who answers only to me, it is sometimes less work to be blunt.

Or better yet, they sit in the comfort of their own home, surf the web, and hunt you through your status updates and Facebook photos you get tagged in. Yes, that was us in the Dominican, frolicking on the beach. While I’d like to believe the best in everyone, that they are merely looking out for me, I am not so naive.

which was funny and only slightly less embarrassing).

Sadly, the name switch up is just part of being widowed.

I changed my relationship status on Facebook to “Engaged”.

problems with dating widowers-73

So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.This was always a big fear of mine, something I sweated about for weeks leading up to our wedding.I envisioned all sorts of horrible scenarios in front of a church full of people, melting into a gooey puddle of shame after blurting out the wrong name (instead I called myself by my new husband’s name…This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.

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